Aug 31, 2009

Sickly Earth

I'm heading out of town.
I need to rent a car.

Alamo! What are you thinking? Your charge me $200 simply to rent the car. Then, I'm smacked with $78 of taxes, fees, surcharges:

Two hundred and seventy-eight dollars... simply to get from one place to another? My pockets are empty! I've been bled dry! Or, so I thought. Team Alamo thinks I might be good for a few extra dollars, because they offer me the choice to bill myself another $1.25 for a Greenhouse Emissions Offset.

Hahahahaha! Oh....wait. You're serious. Serious? Seriously?

I'll pass on the Save the Environment Upgrade. How do they even quantify a $1.25 gift offsets carbon emissions? What do they do with the money? Plant trees? Grow flowers? Knit tiny sweaters for blue jays (winter's coming, and blue jays shiver a lot). Granted, clothing birds in adorable turtlenecks won't offset emissions, but that's my point! We don't know how these cats are spending the cash!

Notice, too, the charge doesn't vary depending on length of rental. I'm to assume a one day rental does as much environmental damage as a one month rental? That's dumb. Alamo, at least give the impression you've calculated something. Let me pretend you're charge is founded on science, and not founded on, "how can we get another five quarters off this guy?"

Alamo, am I being overly harsh? I think so. Your conniving has gotten me thinking. If people read my blog they're using energy, and that energy is coming from somewhere. And, somehow, in that somewhere somecarbon...I mean some carbon... could be emitted. Oh tenuous balance! Earth needs help!

That's why, in response to all my blog reader's carbon creation, I'm creating Carbon Chompers. You'll find the donation information in the sidebar. Do you part to help the environment!


Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that the Donate link for Carbon Chompers directs me to a PayPal account tied to your e-mail. Hmmmm...

Mi Thoughts said...

If you're insinuating Carbon Chompers is anything but legit I'm offended. Are you suggesting CC is a diabolical ploy to make a couple extra dollars? That, my anonymous friend, is bollocks. Bollocks!

Anonymous said...

I'd never suggest such a thing. Merely an observation. Perhaps your other readers were wondering the same thing and I did them a favor by inquiring. Please kind sir, might you tell us where the funds shall be allocated?

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