Dec 30, 2008


Let's consolidate our knowledge. If we pooled our collective wisdom we'd agree, one goodbye and that's all. Today, after purchasing a soda, Diet Mountain Dew (because neon pee without the calories is cool), the teller compounds two goodbyes without a conjunction. Animal! He says, "Have a good day, be careful out there, ok?"


That's, quite possibly three goodbyes crammed together. I wasn't expecting a goodbye sermon and said, "you too," after he offered, "have a good day." I was mid "you tooing" when he launches into Part Two, a thoughtful, "you be careful out there, ok?" Now, I look rude and to busy to allow a kind Chevron attendant an opportunity to wish me well. I wanted to yell, "you have overstayed your goodbye welcome! You can't offer up your own goodbye medley! There are rules! One and done, sir! One and done!"

Goodbyes are like sex. You don't need more then two involved. You offer a goodbye, and then I; we're done, a smooth adios transaction. However, if you're bringing in multiple goodbyes, we suddenly have an orgy on our hands, and those never end well. Someone always gets jealous, someone always spills the wine, and someone always wants to film... I hear.

Anyways, I faced a goodbye orgy, a mess of letters writhing all over each other. I walked away scathed.


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