What Can A Bipolar Paranoid Schizophrenic Get Away With In School?

Anything. A bipolar paranoid schizophrenic can get away with damn near anything in the public school system. And, you may ask, why? Well, it’s quite simple. A diagnosis of bipolar paranoid schizophrenia is a “get out of jail free” card. For example, today I had the pleasure of dealing with a student who refused to take a test and wandered about the classroom talking with test takers. When I had the audacity to ask the little creep, “can you please sit down,” he gave me enough of his time to calmly say, “no,” turned towards the door and walked out of the room.

His exit was stunning, because nothing seemed to drive him. He exemplified a vacuous individual. When he looked at me, he didn’t seem driven by hate or disgust, but peace--peace that follows the realization that whatever came out of his mouth would be excused. He had carte blanche.

After he walked out, I was incensed and asked an assistant, “why does ______ put up with students like that.” (the school has been deleted to protect my ass).

“Oh,” she said, “he…suffers from paranoid bipolar disorder.”

Huh??? What??? I wanted to scream, “who cares!! That little bastard was rude! I don’t care how many personalities he has, every one of them knows inappropriate behavior!”

Instead, I just said, “oh, I see.” But, I didn’t see. I didn’t see why the inmates were running the asylum (it’s a cliché that works). Kids, all kids, need boundaries. They need to know what is acceptable and objectionable.