Bachelorette

I don't stick to one brand. I dabble. Sure, I like Nike, but I also like Adidas, and Reebok, and Under Armour. And! I mix! I wear interbrand outfits. My Reebok has the Jun...I mean... Adidas Fever.

Sometimes at the gym, to pass the time while I exhaust myself on an stationary bike, I imagine they get in arguments. My Nike shirt gets into it with my Under Armour shorts.

Nike: Why do you have lint on your shirt? Where were you last night?
Under Armour: In the washing machine...

Nike: Liar! I saw you mingling with the socks!
Under Armour: We're just friends! I can't do this anymore! I'm leaving (packs himself into a
Nike: Fine! Go! I changed for you! I cut off my long sleeves because you said you liked a girl with short sleeves.
Under Armour: Fgf mybdh ihs bgter hif whe (muffled response coming from the suitcase)

Awww. Breakups are always sad, but there's an important lesson to be learned: stationary bikes make you do strange things.