The Hold Steady

Don't believe people who say, "the human body loves exercise," because the body hates it. It loathes exercise, and if it suspects you're trying to sneak in a workout, beware! It will punish you. It will make you sweat and smell bad, or cramp, or chafe, or vomit.

Oh, yes. Stay on your couch, and respect what your body really wants; a sedentary lifestyle.