Webassign

I don't understand poker, and I don't want to. The way I see it, there's a finite amount of space in my brain, and I don't want poker shoving out information to set up a home.

Of course, choosing poker ignorance has its ramifications. See, I'm surrounded by poker addicts in the office. Oh lord, how they go on and on about losing and winning and checking. It's enough to make me welcome the economic downturn. Maybe I'll be fired, and whisked away from this!

"What's that sir? I'm fired? Well, I thank you." We'll vigorously shake hands. My gratitude puts him at ease, and he offers me a cigar. We smoke for awhile, talking about our hopes and dreams. I mention I always wanted to learn how to sail because my grandfather wanted his ashes spread in deepest part of the Pacific ocean. My story moves my now ex-boss, and he offers me the keys to his Catamaran. I accept the keys and sail around the world.

Anyways, back to poker. They chat about poker a lot, and I nod and feign understanding. In reality, I have no idea what their conversations mean. For example:

Cubicle Guy 1: Pocket fives. I flop a set. Ace calls me. He doesn't pair on the river.
Cubicle Guy 2: Wow.
Me: Man. (would I be attacked by pirates on the Pacific?)

Let them have their games! I'll go back to making up stories, thanks.