Tetonic Chest

At the risk of numerous reader eye-rolling, I've started working out again (this time it's for real!). The workout hiatus is over. I'm recommitted, excited, and hopeful. My body hates me. "Et tu, Paul," my body whines as I jump on the elliptical ("jump" may be to active a verb. Maybe, "limp?"). I really can't blame my body, however. Change sucks, and numerous regions are already changing. For instance, my pecs are shifting like tectonic plates. What was once Flesh Chest Pangea is transformed into two distint pectoral continents. The chest is shifting into two regions! Both continents are still dominated by the Silver Dollar Areole Mountain Range, but you see my point, I'ma changin!