LG Cellphones are not Resilient

And when you apply to much weight to them, the screen cracks, and you get a very nifty supernova effect on your screen. Oh... but the only bad thing?... the supernova doesn't disappear. No, no it does not. Look for yourself:

Last night I improved a blood stain (don't ask. It involved Martha Stewert's sweat acting as a bleaching agent which she used to get rid of the blood stain. Who bled and left the stain? Marth's cellmate she shived!). As a stain, I thought it suitable I lie on the floor, but woe! to those blood stain actors who don't empty their pockets. I didn't, and (shocker!) my petite body crushed my cellphone. It was tragic. I hope my warranty covers the destruction, but I don't think I bought hefty-man-on-top-of-phone insurance. Damn my frugality! I had to pass on the coverage!