Warning: Subbing May Give You Flashbacks

Take a 20-something who has terrible memories of high school, give him a position as substitute teacher, and prepare for the occasional melancholy memory. I am that 20 something, currently subbing, and I've spied a quiet student, alone, introverted, with a face that belays a sinking depression. Why can I spot it? I was that kid, and it pangs me to see another suffer, rooted to that miserable spot. The irony, however, is the spot is hollow, you're rooted to nothing. It's the self-manifested dregs.

I wish I could help, but that's overstepping my bounds as a teacher, not to mention a substitute. Kids aren't responsive to an approaching adult saying, "my, my, you look depressed. Can I help you?" They'll just deflect your questions, pretend things are rosy when it's plain they're in hell.

My fear, and I have this whenever I see a kid dejected, and walking alone, is will they kill themselves? You might think I'm over-reacting, but ones mind (and I know) can quickly seize on the idea of suicide as the answer. It can become the consuming passion of the mind, a thankful escape hatch. Ehhh.... I’m carrying on and I don't care for my sentences.

The point of this blog was to sympathize with anyone suffering depression. It's blinds and suffocates, and if need to talk, and can manage sending off an email, I'll listen, and maybe help. Feel free to email me at, itsmepaulb@gmail.com. I understand the importance of anonymity, so I'd never ask who you are.

I'm sure there are a lot of eye rolling going on amongst the readers, and you doubt I'll make any impact. And yah, I may not, but I can't stand looking at students and doing nothing to help.