I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy? Yes, I can.

I enjoy using this site as a personal bully pulpit. Today's subject: The insufferable play We Live Here from that "wacky" improv troupe I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy.

First, I don't know what's so hard to believe, they're terrible. If I performed abortions, an ejected fetus would be more attractive then this, and that's not hyperbole. The play is broken into ten acts. I can only guess it was ten, because it's been a couple weeks since I attended and my brain has been diligently trying to whitewash the night. The ten acts are separate skits, strung together in hopes of creating a gut-busting two hours. They ALL fail. Over the length of the entire play I laughed, and I know because I counted, four times. Four!! That averages .4 laughs a skit, or $3.13 a laugh. Am I wrong to demand more? A laugh-to-skit ration should near five; I'm not sure if .4 even registers on the bell curve.

I'm dramatizing when I should be documenting examples. Hmmm, their are so many painful memories, where should I start. How about I attack what they were most proud of; The Vagina Monologue sendupS. Yes, the "s" is used to denote the plural, one skit playing on the subject of the vagina wouldn't do, but 5 sounded about right in their mind.

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.

Was that funny?
What?
Are you suggesting the repetition of "vagina" doesn't cause you to erupt in laughter? Gosh, that's so....so....so...understandable! Unfortunately, I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy (ICBINC) didn't get the memo.

Maybe, you ask hopefully, "vagina" can be funny in the context of the play? Again, sorry to disappoint, but no. For instance, a character in the second skit turns to her friend who is concerned about medicare, and declares, "You know what your problem is? You hate your vagina!!" Ha! I mean, what? I realize ICBINC wants us to double over at the suggestion the looming healthcare problem is veiled self hatred for ones vagina, but as the character repeats, "you hate your vagina," you realize that's the punch-line and not the starting point. The skit could have promise if it were to link healthcare with vagina loathing, but it doesn't. The skit just swims in circles, thrilled with it's cheeky proclamation while indifferent, or incapable, of explanation.

I needn't waste any more time on explaining how terrible the play is. If you do need more testimony to persuade you, I beg you to please IM me. I don't want another person to waste $12.50 on We Live Here, because it's not deserving and you deserve more.