X Biking + Pregnant Woman = Inferority Complex

I've taken up xBiking, and it.... is.... brutal. If you've never xBiked, let me give you a "xBike for Dummies" rundown. xBiking is the hardcore cousin of Spinning. Where Spinners just.... well..... spin, xBikers spin, stand, peddle, and rock the handlebars. I have yet to complete an entire 45 minute session; 35 minutes in I have to rest and catch my breath. At the end of the class I am dripping with sweat (if you think I'm the least bit sexy... please.... skip over the following sentences. The following descriptions will destroy whatever feelings you've nurtured for me. Skip this and continue to pine for me. Thank you.). Actually, dripping with sweet is understating my.... shall we "prowess"... for sweating. I didn't just sweat, I developed what I can only be describe as a "moat o' sweat" around my bike. It was an impressive water show. I thank my mom for providing the genes that allow me to turn a dry shirt soaking wet in ten minutes. What a gift.

Anyways, back to xBiking, 45 minutes of draining hell, with hot MILFS all about. I didn't mention that part? Well, yah, hot moms drop their kids at the daycare, and xBike their way to a fantastic body. I always wondered where the MILFs congregated, and now I know... xBiking.

And, that's where things get embarrassing. These women are swishing their way through 45 minutes, no problem. Are they tired? No! Are they sweating? Ha, please! I, however, am praying my heart doesn't give out while panting and soaking up the rivers of sweat snaking down my face.

Oh! Oh! I nearly forgot the best part! The woman leading the class, did I mention she's pregnant? Yah, a few months preggers. Her stomach's ballooning, developing a child within, and she's tearing it up on the platform, urging us to peddle harder. I'm being trounced by a pregnant woman. Great for the ego! And, a little insult to injury, she suggested I work on my posture while I was riding. Thanks for singling me out, sweetheart! I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I'm still nursing my ego back to full health.

Maybe when she's nine months pregnant I can beat her. Let us pray.