Wimmer....You Dun Me Wrong

I've championed Kurt Wimmer for years. Finding Equilibrium on the Blockbuster shelf was a gift, and I thanked Wimmer by encouraging everyone to rush out and rent what I considered to be one of the great visually arresting sci-fi films in years. It was the least I could do, I had Wimmer's back.

Having just seen the previews for Ultraviolet let me say this: supporting the days of Wimmer are gone. I'm abandoning him, because he's betrayed me. I remember the days when I would launch into a "Wimmer is such an amazing vision...etc...etc...etc." Ha! Equilibruim may have been a force, but Ultraviolet has that destined-for-the-two-movies-for-five-dollar bin at Wal Mart.

While watching Ultraviolet, I had no idea Wimmer had helmed the project. I did, however, know one thing: the CGI environments of Ultraviolet rival the best graphics of any SNES game to date!

Oh snap! That's right. I've just laid down one cruel 16-bit backhanded compliment. If you're not a gamer, let me put it like this: the graphics look like shit. I want to like this movie, so I'll hope the trailer was a rushed production, and the graphics were in their primitive stages. I hope, I hope, I hope. If this was the final product, oh dear lord...words fail me.

But, wait, there's more! The reason I so closely examined the CGI, is, well, the acting, honestly, not the strongest point in Equilibrium, is here, in Ultraviolet, atrocious. I smell a Razzie sweep for 2006. Incredible abs won't aid Jovovich when she's supplied with clunky dialogue. That's unfair to the screenwriters, however, as they were not the worst offenders. A good actor may have been able to stir up some interest in bad lines, but not in this film. Wimmer just couldn't seem to encourage his actors/actresses to do much more then ooze sex appeal.

Four years after Equilibrium, and you decide to take a giant step back into hackhood? Oh Wimmer, I thought I knew ye.