As you know (or maybe you don’t), I haven’t posted in my journal for quite some time. I would like to say it is because I’ve been busy, but no, that’s not it. I actually fear writing in this journal. While I love the idea that people sift through my writings, it’s also unnerving, because, I feel, they’re likely judging my work (i.e. writing). Maybe they don’t. Maybe my senses are warped. Maybe the judgments I often pass leave me with the impression everyone judges. Do you see how I just ruminate about things? Around and around, the ideas swirl without resolution.
But, wait! I’m not here to brood. I’m here to reveal my insights. I’m here to share wisdom I’ve amassed through 23 years of living. I want to affect you. So, what morsel should I leave you savoring? If I can share one piece of knowledge, let it be this:

Donnie Darko, is the worst movie of ALL time

Now, while you may chuckle and say, “that Paul, always dramatic,” I assure you, I’m dead serious. I’ve tried recalling a movie more abhorred then Darko. I’ve mined the recesses of my mind, searching for a comparable failure. And, what have I found? Nothing.
I hope Donnie Darko is an aberration, a collective lapse of judgement on the part of IFC. Why would they distribute such an uneven film? Wait. To be honest, I can’t call Donnie Darko uneven, because it fails on every conceivable level, and a complete failure demands to be called, “balanced” (the silver lining in an otherwise wretched film).
Where is the proof, you ask? Give me a moment to compose myself (recalling bad movies can be quite taxing) and I’ll point out its many failings (it’s like a ride on the Magic School Bus. Although, I don’t recall Ms. Frizzle subjecting her students to anything on par with Darko). Let’s begin with cinematography.
Yes, I know director Richard Kelly was allotted only 6 million for Donnie Darko, but that’s no excuse for his mediocre camera work. I’ve seen dozens of films with smaller budgets that made more of an impression than Darko. You want the list? How about Thirteen, The Loss of Sexual Innocence, Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Taste of Cherry, Stranger than Paradise, Rebels of the Neon God, and Halloween. Carpenter, Kiarostami, Jarmusch, Ming-Liang, Fassbinder and, Soderbergh, found creative places to lodge their camera. Their camera work became as significant as the narratives. The cinematography encouraged discussion. The camera work in Darko? The cinematography is neither playful nor somber. Where is the experimentation, or risk? Kelly’s camera set-ups are dull, suited for an after school special.
But, what is a camera without lighting? Can lighting salvage Donnie Darko? It is possible, or, rather, was possible, until the credits rolled. The password for Kelly’s lighting is, “forgettable.” With a title like “Donnie Darko,” you’d expect Kelly to tinker with light and shadow. Prepare for a let down. You’ll find few bright spots (god, I know it’s a bad pun, but I couldn’t resist), with respect to lighting. I was pleading with Kelly throughout the movie to abandon the three point lighting approach, because the melancholy characters and unhappy script beg for an atypical approach. The drab studio lighting approach used left Donnie Darko empty. Where unorthodox lighting and camerawork would energize each scene, Kelly’s bland choices left characters one-dimensional.
The script tries building authentic characters, but the attempt comes off amateurish. While Kelly attempts to produce an engaging script, he succeeds only in bogging down the narrative with characters and plotlines. The viewer becomes frazzled, choked with information overload. Furthermore, each actor seems to radiate an intensity that the lines fail to capture. Is this the fault of reckless actors or a weak script? Maybe it’s a blend of the two, but Kelly should have recognized the problem. He doesn’t, however, and the viewers suffer (As an aside, I discovered Kelly was paid nine thousand dollars to write and direct Darko. In my humble opinion he was overpaid by eighty-five hundred dollars. Why should he keep 500? 500 will allow him to buy a quality gun and bullet. That way, god willing, if he feels inclined to kill himself, he’ll have the proper equipment.).
And there you are! The reasons one should avoid Donnie Darko. If you’ve seen it and disagree (or agree) with my impassioned opinions, please comment. I’m curious as to what others think. Oh, in addition to everything I wrote above, I’d like to state that yes, I know Darko is considered a “mindfuck” film. Some of you may even allege that I can’t appreciate the film until I try to unravel the story. “Paul,” you’ll begin, “you need to figure it out [the story] on your own, and until you do, you shouldn’t ridicule it.” To that, I would respond, sounding as cordial as possible, with this:
Let’s pretend I was walking along a road and found animal droppings. Being curious, I’d like to know what animal left this pile, so I’d begin to research. What animal could possibly leave this? Well, after days of research, I discovered the droppings were those of a Deer! Ok, a deer. Well great, now I know what deer poop looks like. You know what though? I just spent a few days analyzing shit.
No offense, but that’s what I think many Donnie Darko fans are doing. You’re caught up in figuring out the plot when the film is shit! I’m not criticizing the plot, but rather Kelly’s directorial efforts, the films presentation. The aspects mentioned above (cinematography, lighting, script, and acting) are the reasons I’ll forever avoid this film. Why theorize about the plot? Many fans seem immersed in the plot rather then the ingredients that comprise the fictional plot. They avoid discussing the aspects that comprise the film, yet maintain Donnie Darko is a superb film.

P.S. I’m not criticizing the Donnie Darko fan. To each their own. This essay is solely an expression of why I feel the film is awful. I hope you understand the distinction.

P.P.S. I do not hope Kelly commits suicide. That was a joke, albeit a tasteless one. I hope no one attempts suicide. Ever! If you ever feel tempted to commit suicide, IM me on AOL at “itsmepaulb”. Better you talk with someone about it then attempt it. You’d be missed.